Tonight, everything is done. The buying, the wrapping, the baking, the cleaning. Ok, not the cleaning. The cleaning is never done…am I right? But, I have done all I can do for tonight.
Tonight I began organizing. A pile of gifts to go to my family’s Christmas celebration tomorrow night. A pile of gifts to go to my in-laws’ house on Christmas Day. A pile of gifts to stay here for us to open with our daughters on Sunday morning before the Christmas service.
And I felt…..disappointed.
Weird, huh?
For the first time in many years, my husband and I got to go shopping together and in person. And, thanks to a recent blessing, we had the finances to be able to bless another. And it feels like we have been wrapping presents for weeks.
But tonight, looking at the piles, they seem sadly small.
So I am having to make a conscious effort to focus my thoughts. It is not about the presents. Actually, this year my husband and I made a point to try to give experiences rather than just stuff. We couldn’t do it for everyone, but for some. And we focused on that for our children also. There are still presents to open, but we have also made memories: a spontaneous day trip to Helen, GA (one of our favorite places), blessing another family, giving extra to a special offering at church, helping decorate the church for the season.
The next two days will be filled with traditions, family time and memories also. Christmas Eve service tradition, time with both sides of the family involving grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends that might as well be family. The past few years have taught the entire world that we never know what the future brings. We never know who may be missing from our dinner table next Christmas, or what new faces might have joined us. We must value each and every moment we are given, especially when you live over an hour away from family as we do from both sides.
But primarily, this time is about one particular family, that traveled miles and miles by foot and donkey. My thoughts often turn to Mary during this time of year, especially since becoming a mother in 2009. Tonight I especially wonder at her thoughts during those last few miles to Bethlehem. Was she wondering what she could offer her new baby? No, she didn’t know yet that she would give birth in a stable, but still… She knew that they were miles from home and very close to giving birth. I have the comfort of knowing I have a home for my children to sleep in. She didn’t know where they would sleep. Was she worried, or did she simply trust that God had it handled? Was she disappointed in what she could offer her new husband and soon to arrive son?
I think any disappointment or worry faded away when she held that baby. When he cried for the first time. When she kissed his head. When she marveled at his tiny fingers and toes. I think in those moments she remembered what was truly important: love and the true reason for Christmas.
So for the next two days I will made a purposeful effort to focus on the smiles of my family, the memories made and laughter shared, and the reason for all this craziness in the first place.
adleavitt 